There is an ocean of 'lasts' and 'reflections' washing over the fandom at the moment as we enter Supernatural's very last few hours of production. The last shoot with Baby, the last shoot in the bunker, Clif's last drive to the studio, the empty Ackles and Padalecki chairs, stuntmen paying their tributes, the news that Jensen will be taking Baby home ... the list goes on.
I always assumed that when this moment came, I'd just be a broken, emotional wreck; no good to man nor beast. There's definitely emotion there, but right now all I feel is an overwhelming emptiness. I feel strangely detatched from it all, just looking at the posts and the tweets and moving on numbly.
Is it a self-preservation thing? Is it just resignation? I don't know. I've got a horrible feeling that the emotion that I'm no doubt bottling up inside is going to burst, 'Old-Faithful-like' when I watch the series finale.
I'm making arrangements to book the 20th November off work, no-one knows why - as far as they're concerned, I'm just using up annual leave.
I discovered the joy of fandom ten years ago because of Supernatural, and through it I found support and friendship beyond what I could have ever imagined. We're all going to need that so much in the next few weeks.
Let me put it on record now that I'll be here as a 'virtual' shoulder to cry on for anyone who needs it!