It can be a lonely life when everyone hates you; even Death needs a hug sometimes. That's where the personal ads come in handy ...
Disclaimer: I own nothing except a twisted mind
Word Count: 100
There are only two certainties in life, and I'm one of them.
(Very) mature, intelligent professional (No SOH), tall, dark and handsome - in a cadaverous sort of way - with dapper dress sense and job security to (ahem) die for.
WLTM sober-minded non-smoking lady for friendship, sharing of pickle-chips and long, romantic walks along the banks of the Styx.
In return, I can offer you immortality, dominion over all mankind for eternity, and your own personal ferry, complete with ferryman, for romantic cruises around the nine circles of Hell. The underworld truly is your oyster.
Apply: Deathloveskittens, PO Box GRIM1