amusedHE'S MAKING A LIST, HE'S CHECKING IT TWICE
Not everyone knows that Santa keeps an eye on big kids as well as little ones ... we join Santa as he's putting the finishing touches to his list. With a little encouragement.
Rated: K+
Word Count: 500
Child's name: Winchester, Dean
Age: Thirty
Noteworthy examples of naughtiness:
(Further details can be found in pages 1 – 347 of annex A)
(See annex B for illustrations)
Lying, stealing, gambling, fornication, fighting, alcohol consumption, constant use of foul language, gluttonous appetite and sibling cruelty (see Page 125, clause 6 of annex A; 'the noodle incident')
Honest admissions of bad behaviour:
Grudgingly confessed to surfing porn on brother's laptop only after said brother pinned him down and administered chinese burns.
Immediately withdrew confession citing the anti-torture clause of the Geneva Convention.
Continuously.
For three weeks.
Brother eventually returned laptop and invited him to surf porn just to shut him up.
Examples of niceness:
Hunts evil, saves lives.
Kind to children, animals and pretty ladies.
Exhibits a suicidally reckless instinct to protect his brother who is built like the Rock of Gibraltar so therefore doesn't need protecting at all.
Takes good care of toys (car)
Special considerations:
Tragic life/questionable role model
Old enough to know better?
He's thirty.
(See page 86, clause 12b of annex A; 'won't ever learn'.)
Pass/reject:
Visit Rudolph's stall to fill this one's stocking ...
... or, given that he's threatening to microwave one of my elves; pass.
Gift:
Cherry Pie
Giant slinky
xxxxx
tbc
Child's name: Winchester, Sam
Age: Twenty six
Noteworthy examples of naughtiness:
Lying, stealing (prone to being led astray by older brother).
One notable use of foul language (see 'the noodle incident')
Honest admissions of bad behaviour:
Courageously confessed to accidentally scratching brother's car due to careless parking because he believed it was' the right thing to do.'
Unfortunately not optimistic he will continue to hold that view after having his head flushed down the toilet.
Monitor situation in future years.
Examples of niceness:
Hunts evil, saves lives.
Kind and sensitive to victims of supernatural trauma.
Eats healthily, lives a virtuous lifestyle (insofar as that is possible – see 'prone to being led astray' above)
Kind to children and animals.
Polite and courteous to all ladies; even ones he doesn't want to sleep with.
Amazingly, loves his brother
Special considerations:
Tragic life/victim of demonic manipulation
Old enough to know better?
Yes; and does try hard in the face of insurmountable opposition (see Winchester, Dean).
Pass/reject:
Pass; making the effort to be good is as important as the act itself.
Besides, that bitchface could curdle eggnog. I'm not upsetting this one.
Gift:
New laptop.
Electric cattle-prod to keep brother away from it.
xxxxx
end
