I only want the best for my good buddy's birthday, and with that in mind, here are ten reasons why I won't be inviting J2M to JJ's birthday party ...
1. Jensen can't be trusted around JJ's birthday cake

2. Nor can they be trusted to play nice ...


3. Lord alone knows what they'll wear ...





4. And speaking of trust, Jensen can't be trusted to keep his pants on ...


Oh, Jared - don't encourage him!

5. Drool dehydration is no joke



6. Apparently, Jensen steals the wrapping paper and wears it.

7. Don't even get me started on their table manners


8. That Jensen's such a naughty scamp. He doesn't only unwrap the presents ...


This can be very offputting for other guests ...

9. They're show-offs



10. And finally, they spend far too long getting ready




But then, maybe they'll decide to ignore me and come along anyway. It seems they're really excited about the prospect:

Hey Jensen, is that JJ1564's birthday present in your pocket or are you just pleased to see her?
Happy birthday
my dear friend, I hope your day is truly wonderful!
credits as per watermarks