Dizzojay's Dean Dreams (dizzojay) wrote,
Dizzojay's Dean Dreams

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An Angel's Guide to Partying


Genre: Humour
Rating: K+
Characters: Castiel, Dean
Spoilers/Warnings: None
Word Count: 650
Summary: Castiel's POV.  I went to Dean’s birthday party and I took a lot of time and effort to make it a very special experience …
Not canon, just fun!

Written for spn_bigpretzel birthday challenge prompt:  "I went to…’s birthday party, and I took…"
Disclaimer: Don't own them


I received an invitation to Dean’s birthday party.

I am very honoured and excited because I have never attended a birthday celebration before.

I have, therefore, been researching the correct procedure at length, and I believe I am now fully prepared to extract the most enjoyment out of the occasion, whilst at the same time paying appropriate tribute to my bond of friendship with Dean on his most special day.

I believe that it is customary to take a birthday card to give to the host of the party.  My research suggests that it should be something that reflects the personality of the recipient by depicting images that make them happy.

However, I have been searching for many, many hours now, and as yet I have been unsuccessful in locating a birthday card that includes images of black Chevrolet Impalas, naked asian ladies with ample breasts and pies.

When I asked the serving lady behind the counter in the thirty-ninth store I visited, I sensed discomfort; particularly when I showed her a picture from Dean’s favourite porn website to provide an example of my requirements.

Still, the security guard who removed me from the store seemed to be very happy when I wrote down the website address for him.

Eventually, I settled on a card with a picture of a grey rabbit in a hat.  I don’t know why, but I think it would make Dean smile.

As well as a birthday card, I read that it is necessary to purchase a birthday gift to take along to the festivities.   This has proven even more challenging than selecting the card.  I thought that I had conceived an idea of a perfect gift for Dean, however there do not appear to be any companies that I can locate that hire naked asian ladies riding in black Chevrolet Impalas to deliver cherry pies to people who are celebrating birthdays.

Having said that, there was a naked lady on one website I happened across that did something very unusual with a cherry pie, but I did not know if Dean would appreciate this – and even if Dean did, Sam CERTAINLY wouldn’t.

I have made the decision to purchase Dean some beer instead.  I do not know how the ratio of number of bottles to level of friendship works.  I hope one hundred bottles will be sufficient.

In addition to the gift, I understand that a birthday cake is an essential component of a birthday party.  I have heard Dean say, in a disparaging tone, that cake is not the same as pie, so I have decided to give Dean a birthday pie.  I have also heard that it shows true friendship and devotion to make, rather than purchase a gift.  I have therefore decided to bake Dean’s pie myself.

I think it will look much more appetising once all the smoke has cleared.

As it is a birthday pie, I decided to write a message on it in white icing.  This is more difficult than it looks.  My pie currently bears the message ‘Harpy Bitchday Bean.’  I’m sure Dean will understand the sentiment behind it.

I will also need to locate a candle to adorn it with; perhaps the local church will allow me to use one of theirs.

So, I have a birthday card, a birthday gift and a birthday cake, well, pie.  I have spent time to ensure that I am appropriately attired.  Now I am ready to attend Dean’s birthday party.

Later ...

*knock knock*

“Oh, hey Cas, thanks for comi … UH?”

“Hello Dean.”

“Sam, for Chrissakes, fetch a blanket!  Cas, we really need to talk about what you think ‘birthday suit’ means.”


Tags: castiel, dean winchester, fan fiction, humour, spn-bigpretzel, supernatural

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