Dizzojay's Dean Dreams (dizzojay) wrote,
Dizzojay's Dean Dreams

Happy Birthday June - A Journey around Jensen Spam

My awesome friend, both in real life and on-line, my partner in mini-crime, and all-round brilliant human being jj1564 is celebrating a birthday today.

And to celebrate, I'm going to take her on a journey, a very special journey.

So join us if you please as we explore the breathtaking topography of that little-known area of outstanding natural beauty otherwise known as Jensen Ackles.
Shown here:

We will be travelling from north to south, and some parts of the journey may be hazardous, so bring appropriate clothing and equipment.
Increasing temperature may be a problem, so please remember to bring plenty of water.
In order to preserve the beauty of Jensen Ackles, we request that you take all litter home with you, and please don't leave teethmarks.

Thank you.


Observe how Jensen's hair is spiky yet fluffy at the same time.
In various lights and at various times, it can appear dark blond, tawny, light brown and, in all cases, absolutely effing gorgeous.
It has an unusual effect of making fangirls want to run their fingers (and occasionally other body parts) through it.

Even when it's demonically cursed.


Please take extra care at this point.
Jensen's face has been known to cause uncontrolled drooling,  temporary loss of the power to speak, move and blink, spontaneous ovulaton and panty incineration.

Jensen's face is a designated weapon of mass destruction, and should be approached with extreme caution.


Jensen's face is made up of various features, which we shall explore individually while we're here.
The first is, eyes.

Jensen's green eyes are known to be the source of his power, although reports that looking straight into them causes instant pregnancy are as yet unconfirmed.

Jensen's eyes are extremely expressive; the chatty little buggers can say a thousand words without him ever having to open his mouth.
Honestly, you could be there for hours - they never bloody stop rabbiting.


Jensen's eyes are protected by his eyelashes.
These are extremely long and voluminous and have been known to spear passing insects.
For your safey we have imposed a twelve inch exclusion zone around them.

When they are wet, they become even more dangerous and have been known to alter ambient humidity. 


Jensen's nose is ever so slightly crooked, but no one minds.  This just makes the terrain even more rugged and beautiful.

It also has a very slight (but ever so pretty) hump, so please take care.


Jensen's nose is covered by freckles.  Feel free to linger awhile and count them. 

Even when Jensen is trying to look mean, moody and magnificent; they still look cute.


But ears are just ears, I hear you cry.  But these are Jensen's ears ... well, this is his left ear.
It's rather adorable, isn't it.

Here are both his ears.  They're ever so slightly pointy, so please take care.


Jensen's lips should have sonnets written about them.
Words commonly used to describe Jensens lips are plush, pouty, sexy and sinful.
Those are the polite ones.
There are plenty of fics in which you can find the other ones.

They look sinfully beautiful, even in black and white.


Jensen's teeth are shiny white and perfectly straight.
Please take care when approaching as any damage, howsoever inflicted, is punishable by being set upon by irate fangirls.

Sometimes he bites his lip and we get teeth and lips together - the best of both worlds!


Can't talk ... licking.

Nibbling is not permitted - see teethmarks rule above.


Composed of solid muscle and granite, said to be one of the toughest substances on earth.
Sometimes they come with the added bonus of lovely Jared in the background.

Demonic shoulders are somehow even more impressive.
Uh, let's take a short break here, shall we?


Jensen's shoulders lead us seamlessly onto his back.
This rarely-seen broad expanse of magnificently undulating landscape has been the downfall of many a weary fangirl traveller.

More often than not it is covered up, so it's mysterious charms can only be imagined.  And imagine them we do.


Nestled there between his back and our next stop, his chest, are Jensen's armpits.
Rarely seen, they are an often overlooked feature of Jensen's overall gorgeousness.

But, as armpits go, they are devilishly attractive.


This is one of the highlights of our journey, let's just stand a while and take in the sheer magnificence of the spectacle before us.

And let's not forget the delightfully perky charms of Jensen's nipples which can be found in this location too.


There are a number of points on this journey where the pitiful inadequacies of the Engish language leave us at a loss to describe what we are seeing.
Ladies, I give you Jensen's biceps.

And when you throw in a bonus perky nipple, we're back to the ovary incineration risk.
Fire extinguishers are available upon request.  That's if the tour guide hasn't used them already.


Given thaat the biceps are part of them, they're always going to be awesome, but really?  Cover them in dirt and they're pretty damn fantastic!

As you can all see, although the biceps are magnificent, the forearm is no slouch either.


Part of the attraction of them is imagining what he could do to you with them.
I'm sure it wouldn't involve the gun ...

And while we're stopping off in this part of the world, we might as well have a bit of ring porn too.


Now we've arrived at one of my favourite parts.  Jensen's tummy is unbearably cute.  As he is kindly demonstrating here.

I will NEVER get over this picture.
Not that I'm trying very hard, mind you.


Now we've arrived at a place where the terrain is very delicate and easily damaged; please take extra care.
Look, Jensen's pointing to the most fragile bits.

Nothing to see here, move along now  ...


Now we have arrived at Jensen's ass.  The view is breathtaking.

We'll just stay a while and enjoy.


Jensen's bow legs are a structural masterpiece.
It's a wonder he doesn't need flying buttresses to keep him upright.

But we're not complaining.


Jensen doesn't get his feet out very often, but when he does, they're very pretty - as feet go.
And rather large.

You know what they say about men with big feet, don't you?
Yes, they wear big shoes!

Well that brings us to the end of our epic journey.
I hope the drool dehydration and ovary incineration wasn't too painful.
Please remember to put the fire extinguisher back after you've used it, and please remember to tip the tour guide before you leave.

Pictures trawled from Pinterest
and Google
Happy to add specific credit if due.

Tags: birthday, extreme prettiness, fangirl down, jensen, pictures

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