Dizzojay's Dean Dreams (dizzojay) wrote,
Dizzojay's Dean Dreams
dizzojay

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He's Making a List, He's Checking it Twice ...

HE'S MAKING A LIST, HE'S CHECKING IT TWICE
Rating: K+
Genre:  Humour
Characters: sam and Dean Winchester
Spoilers/Warnings: None
Word Count: 400
Disclaimer: I don't own them - I've obviously been far too naughty!

Not everyone knows that Santa keeps an eye on big kids as well as little ones ... we join Santa as he's putting the finishing touches to his list. With a little encouragement.

Child's name

Winchester, Dean

Age

Thirty

Noteworthy examples of naughtiness

(Further details can be found in pages 1 – 347 of annex A)

(See annex B for illustrations)

Lying, stealing, gambling, fornication, fighting, alcohol consumption, constant use of foul language, gluttonous appetite and sibling cruelty (see Page 125, clause 6 of annex A; 'the noodle incident')

Honest admissions of bad behaviour

Grudgingly confessed to surfing porn on brother's laptop only after said brother pinned him down and administered chinese burns.

Immediately withdrew confession citing the anti-torture clause of the Geneva Convention.

Continuously.

For three weeks.

Brother eventually returned laptop and invited him to surf porn just to shut him up.

Examples of niceness

Hunts evil, saves lives.

Kind to children, animals and pretty ladies.

Exhibits a suicidally reckless instinct to protect his brother who is built like the Rock of Gibraltar so therefore doesn't need protecting at all.

Takes good care of toys (car)

Special considerations

Tragic life/questionable role model

Old enough to know better?

He's thirty.

(See page 86, clause 12b of annex A; 'won't ever learn'.)

Pass/reject

Visit Rudolph's stall to fill this one's stocking ...

... or, given that he's threatening to microwave one of my elves; pass.

Gift

Cherry Pie

Giant slinky


Child's name

Winchester, Sam

Age

Twenty six

Noteworthy examples of naughtiness

Lying, stealing (prone to being led astray by older brother).

One notable use of foul language (see 'the noodle incident')

Honest admissions of bad behaviour

Courageously confessed to accidentally scratching brother's car due to careless parking because he believed it was' the right thing to do.'

Unfortunately not optimistic he will continue to hold that view after having his head flushed down the toilet.

Monitor situation in future years.

Examples of niceness

Hunts evil, saves lives.

Kind and sensitive to victims of supernatural trauma.

Eats healthily, lives a virtuous lifestyle (insofar as that is possible – see 'prone to being led astray' above)

Kind to children and animals.

Polite and courteous to all ladies; even ones he doesn't want to sleep with.

Amazingly, loves his brother

Special considerations

Tragic life/victim of demonic manipulation

Old enough to know better?

Yes; and does try hard in the face of insurmountable opposition (see Winchester, Dean).

Pass/reject

Pass; making the effort to be good is as important as the act itself.

Besides, that bitchface could curdle eggnog. I'm not upsetting this one.

Gift

New laptop.

Electric cattle-prod to keep brother away from it.

xxxxx

end

Tags: christmas, dean winchester, sam winchester
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