Dizzojay's Dean Dreams (dizzojay) wrote,
Dizzojay's Dean Dreams

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Demon Resources


Rating: T
Genre: Humour/horror
Characters: Lucifer
Spoilers/Warnings: Slight horror themes
Word Count: 200 words
Disclaimer: Don't own him - thankfully!

No-one ever said being the Prince of Darkness was easy.
If this sounds like a Human Resources practitioner doing a bit of venting - it is!


It’s hard work being the Lord of Hell. 

Sure, it has its perks, but people don’t think about the practical side of things; the long hours, the pressure, writing all those interminable performance reviews for Hell’s minions and all the crap that goes with that - the training, the support, the disembowelling -  sometimes it’s enough to make a grown embodiment-of-all-evil weep.

Then there was that clown yesterday who wanted to improve equality and diversity in Hell; you know, equal opportunities in torture and mutilation - that kind of thing.

He got his way; I sliced him into a thousand equal pieces and spread them in diverse places around the pit.

Sometimes they come to me moaning about their lot; ‘the terms and conditions stink’ they say.

Hello?  Sulphur …

They complain about the hours, the health and safety, the food … I mean, what the hell (literally) is wrong with the food?  The meat screams while you’re eating it, how goddamn fresh can you get?

But anyway, if they complain too much, I normally have a nice civilised meeting to hear their grievance, then I suspend them.   Usually by the thumbs.


Did I mention it’s hard work being the Lord of Hell?


Tags: drabbles, humour, lucifer, supernatural

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