But enough of that. Here, for your viewing pleasure, is a cornucopia of the delectable bodily particles of one Jensen Ross Ackles.
Ladies and gentlemen (what? I'm an equal opportunities ogler), fire extinguishers in the event of spontaneous panty combustion and bottled water for the prevention of drool dehydration are available in the corner.
Herewith a small taster of the nibblesome indulgence to be had under the cut.
It all began some years ago when an incredible pair of shoulders, a pretty face and a pair of perky nipples got together and said, 'hey, let's make Jensen Ackles.'
And this is what they made ...
Okay, they didn't always get it right at first.
Sometimes they needed a little bit of help.
But eventually they built the monolith of pretty that is Jensen.
Sometimes the pretty face decided to be pouty and brooding.
But people just went awwwwww....
And sometimes the shoulders decided to get broader.
(So, sometimes, did the midriff.)
And sometimes the nipples got perkier.
But they found that being so adorably perfect all the time was exhausting - Jensen needed lots of rest.
Those biceps were heavy things to cart around.
Sometimes it was hard work for Jensen to get up in the mornings.
Exercise was vital ...
And so was cleanliness and good grooming.
Especially after Jensen discovered he looked even prettier in the shower.
(A pox on you, evil towel ...)
It was vital to keep checking that the prettiness and perkiness were all still in order.
Sometimes such responsibility was overwhelming.
Sometimes Jensen got so nervous he couldn't even undertake simple tasks ...
He was afraid that he would wake up in the middle of the night ...
And find himself kidnapped by a bunch of rabid fangirls ...
Who would molest him mercilessly ...
And tie him up and do unspeakable things to him ...
With whips ...
And teeth ...
And root vegetables.
But on the whole, being perfect was cool.
Because who else gets picspams like this made of them?
Ladies and gentlemen ...
I give you ...
JENSEN ROSS ACKLES!
Thank you. That's all we have today, please be careful, try not to trip over each others' tongues on the way out.
here at Dizzojay, we take health and safety very seriously.
Karleigh Maddison - Pinterest
Shannon Law - Pinterest
Tabatha Laskey - Pinterest
Elena Pierce - Pinterest
Dixonchesters - Tumblr
Cielcouvert - Tumblr
Jensenacklesfanstuff - Tumblr